The Business End

so the record came out. oh happy joy. now the real business begins, and this is the part i really really REALLY suck at. i mean as if i didn’t suck hard enough at the actual content part… but that’s another story.

i hate doing this necessary task of promotion. it makes me feel even more like a fraud, and every email i send asking if someone could review the record, i am nearly tormented over what i should be saying or not saying and i just end up closing my eyes and hitting the “send” button.

what’s my objective with this anyway? well, its going to sound dumb, but the more work i do for this project the more real it seems and it becomes, to me, legitimate. that’s important because everything seems so pointless, so i create these completely arbitrary and artificial objectives so that i have something concrete i can sink my mind into.

i’d rather spend my time working on the music, but like anyone will tell you, there is no getting around this, no one is just going to up and automatically do it for you, and in my case, some film maker isn’t just going to discover you by accident and make all of your dreams come true. does not work like that. so, if i want to do music for indie films, i gotta do the leg work.

but alas, i still feel like a fraud… and i always get that ugly pit in my stomach when i see other artists going on and on about poofing themselves up, and that’s something i could never do, but there’s a lot of reason behind the practice.

so… if you get an email from me regarding promotional considerations, just know it wasn’t sent without thought, dread, worry and a flood of thoughts of “i’m an idiot — this is stupid — why bother — fraud!!” but i do it anyway.